Houston, we have a problem

Seven year old daughter trying on shoes: Mom, are these your new sandals? They're hot. Can you get me a pair?

Should we be more specific? Nah.

Seven year old daughter to dad: Dad, were you there when mom pooped me out?

Dad, after a long pause: yeah, I was there.

There's no place like home

6 year old boy, while visiting cousins: Auntie, your house is making me haunted-er.

Good Shepherds need not apply

In church while congregation kneels in prayer...

Male parishioner, standing defiantly, to wife: It says right here, "the congregation may stand or kneel." I'm standing. They're like sheep! Sheeple!

I'm Outta Here!

During the sermon...

3 year old parishioner marching past long winded priest: I'm going outside!