Advertising genius (brainwash 'em early)

Bella, age 4, after a rough day at preschool:

Hey Mom... you know, America runs on Dunkin.

Right church. Wrong Jew.

Bella, age 4, after Mom hangs up phone: Who was that?

Mom: Pastor Dave.

Bella: Who's that?

Mom: Pastor Dave from church.

Bella: Who?

Mom: You know, the guy who stands in the front of the church, talks and tells stories.

Bella: Oh, I thought that guy was Jesus.

Rules? Who needs 'em?

7:30am, post hair-combing tussle involving insertion of a barrette:

Juliana, to older sister: Just take it out on the bus, Sophia, that's what I do.

Elementary, my dear Watson

7:00am

Sophia, age 7, to mother: By my calculations, I'm not going to school today.

Overheard at the bus stop

Juliana to Logan: My moms has a best friend and his name is Daegan.