Mom: I'm going to go downtown and spend my Terra Verde gift card. Want to come?

Five-year-old (almost six!) daughter: What's Terra Verde?

Mom: A store with clothes and soap and stuff like that -- nothing for kids, I'm afraid.

Daughter: Is it near anything fun?

Mom: No, not really.

Daughter: Why would I want to go?

Mom: Well, no reason really, but I thought I'd invite you.

Daughter: Okay, I'll go.

Not gonna do it....

Wife to Husband: "Please don't overcook my steak."


8 year old son: "Women are hard to please, that's just another reason why I'm not getting married."

The answer girl

Driving in the car...

Mom, cheerily: And don't forget we have to practice the songs for the Christmas pageant!

9 year old daughter: [Groan] Mom! Do we HAVE to?

8 year old daughter: Don't worry Sophia. We can just Lip-sing it.

Good thing I speak Boy Scout

Doorbell rings. Mom opens door...

Boy Scout: We left you...the can goods...paper.

Mom, thinking furiously: Right! Be right back.

(Returns with bag of cans for food drive)

Boy Scout: Uh...thanks.

Infiltration Complete

Cheerful 8 year old girl: Grandma, I've been in EVERY room of your house!

Grandma: Really?

8 year old girl: Yes. And I think I've touched every single one of your things!

A nice glass of ...

Son: Why do they call it OJ?

Me: Orange starts with O, Juice with J.

Son: why don't they call other juice BJ.

Me: that's hard to answer.

A Good Name for a Camel

Mother: So, I know you got to ride on a camel today at the carnival. If you had your own camel, what would you name it, do you think?

Five year old daughter: Hmmmm...

Mother: How about Cameron?

No.

Cammy?

No.

Camille?

No.

Camilla?

No.

Well, what would you name it?

Farty Face.