Twice a day

8 yr old daughter, to Dad: Daddy, what are you doing?
Dad: Brushing my teeth. With YOUR toothbrush. And then I'm going to use it on Chloe. Yeah, brush the dog's STINKY teeth.
8 yr old daughter, eyes rolling: Remind me to laugh next time.

Make no bones about it.

Hubby, to wifey: I'm an excellent salesman. I can sell firewood in Hell.

Dancing Fool

Parents in the kitchen dancing, attempting to embarrass 7 year old son.

7 year old son: "You don't look like a man Dad!"

Not the brightest bulb on the string

Neighbors talking at AC's parent's new house while AC sorts the spices...

Kevin, after installing light fixture, while sorting box of lightbulbs: "So, you need to tell your Ma [blah blah] these lightbulbs...

Annette: "Uh huh, uh huh"

Kevin: "Yeah. She's gotta take them back, [blah blah]...

Annette: "Wait, are you telling me something that I'm supposed to tell her?

Kevin: "Yeah."

Annette: "Cuz I'm not listening!"

Kevin: [silence, stares]

I think she's screening my calls...

Mom, hollering out of front door: Sophia! Time to come in! You need to take a shower!

8 yr old daughter, calling from side yard: Uh...Sophia can't come to the phone right now. Please leave a message after the beep.

Mother's Day Tea: Needs a Do-Over

Shoot for the Stars!

On the way to church, while playing with stuffies...

8 year old daughter: Mom, when I grow up, I want to be a cat lady. Just like Midi.