Maybe she's a little shopped out

In the car:

Mom, to 10 year old daughter:  What would you think about stopping at Macy's?
10 year old daughter:  I would not.

Those poor rabbis

nine year old son: Mom, have you ever climbed Mt. Everest?

mom: No, and I don't plan to. It's very difficult, and very expensive.

six year old daughter: Why is it so difficult?

son: Well, it's very dangerous up there at the high altitude. But there are these guys who carry your stuff for you, they're called rabbis.

mom: Uh...I think you mean sherpas.

10 is the new 40

10 year old daughter, writing:  Mom, I need some ideas on how to wreck my journal when I'm done.  Things like burn it, drop it in the ocean

Mom:  You could drop it in hot lava

10 year old daughter:  C'mom mom, I need something plausible

I think I know what he'll be when he grows up

7 year old son, hollering:  MOM!  I can't find the constructions!  I can't build my rocket without the constructions!  MO-OM!  Find dem!

Birds of a Feather

Dad and 9 year old son notice the "mama and papa" birds who have a nest under porch are back.

Dad: "Maybe they are going to have more babies."
9 year old looks for eggs in the nest...
9 year old: "Nothing there, but maybe she's eggnant."

Bad Math

Dinner table conversation:

Mom, how old are you?

40.

Dad, how old are you?

39.

So, dad is going to turn 40 soon.

Right.

And mom is going to turn 50 soon.

WHAT?

Mom: I'm going to go downtown and spend my Terra Verde gift card. Want to come?

Five-year-old (almost six!) daughter: What's Terra Verde?

Mom: A store with clothes and soap and stuff like that -- nothing for kids, I'm afraid.

Daughter: Is it near anything fun?

Mom: No, not really.

Daughter: Why would I want to go?

Mom: Well, no reason really, but I thought I'd invite you.

Daughter: Okay, I'll go.